CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Saturday, March 14, 2009

.009

So today was okay until i came home

-woke up at 6:50 for lovely SAT
-got out of SAT at 12:45
-picked up lover and auburn
-went to firehouse subs
-auburn got picked up and so did florida
-me and lover went to borders
-got a SAT book ( inspiration from (p.m.])
-went to Target
-went to kolhs to get the dang security thing off my dress
-came home (5)
-went to find the lent brush in CEO's room in stead i found her diary
of course i read it i couldnt help it. i read and with each page that turned i swear i cried harder. i cant even look at silent.its so hard.CEO is gone with Germany to some wedding shower and wont be back til sometime. and so i sat there and read in the bathroom hallway. i cried over every word written. CEO hates silent. She wrote,"go to hell" and that she was looking into a divorce and who to call,insurance things, lawyers, and whether not me and soccer would hate her for it. it told of silent being an addict and how she hated it. she hated how he wouldnt talk and how he lied and how she hated not being able to communicate..she wrote,"I wish i was married to the man who thought i was the love of his life ." that made me start ballin. omg you guys deff no i dont cry.but this is hard for me to find out because from the outside you would never be able to tell. they even went to therapy but she didnt want it to work. she hates him. she doesnt have confidence in herself, she says she wants someone to talk to and to not judge her."i would give anything if my partner would think i am the most special person in the world." "my worst trait is that i am insecure. i am afraid of being hurt, left alone.i regret not dating more and getting more relationship expeireence.finding out who i was before i decided to get married." i just want to just run to CEO and give her the biggest hug, she also wrote something along the lines of am i doing the best for the girls? i want her to know that i am always here to talk. i also need to add that this was dated 2003-2006 but still i hope she doesnt feel this way. CEO is the strongest woman i know alongside 3000. it was hard to read that she felt insecure. i want to give her the best. i want her to know she has done a damn good job..

0 comments: