005.

So i thought (a.m] was going to have a massive blogfest...
and its not ready yet. So i guess i am forced to wait...
I think i will go until then...

004.

So today was totally awkward. I mean i figured it would be but wow, im glad its over. I know its just going to keep getting worst until it can get better.LoverAffair and I didnt talk at all. I stuck to my plan. Ten tons texted him in class and apparently they were talking about me and i dont care.I mean yes id like to know what they were saying but hey i knew they were talking about me in the first place now didnt i? So now i am talking to Sweetness and its making me feel better because I havent been. I asked him so things about PROM . We have decided as our "secret" that we are each others back-ups. I like love this kid. Hes been there for me through so much and im glad hes one of my best guy friends. He telling me about his indesicive behavior about that "one girl" he's going to ask to his prom and then cheering me up about Beads and how hes an idiot.

I came to the conclusion today that someone has stolen $48 from me from tuesday morning to this afternoon and there are only a few people that had access to my purse.I am quite upset about it. I know i shouldnt be having that much at school anyway but Damn, the person had to go in my purse, then pull out my wallet, and then flip through to the money. Thats one sly ass person and Im going to figure out who it was.

I totally finished the swim yearbooks today and they look awesome! I cant wait to see everyones faces tomorrow when they get them because thats the WHOLE reason i do this. It makes me happy and everyone else too.OK homework noww...ugh. i dont wanna go to Lit.Beast tom and work on that paper. or even to Smidty's class.

004.

Well I confronted one of those "smokers" today. She immediately tried to walk away and i was like no get back her and talk to me! It really turned into me yelling at her, I dont regret it. I wouldnt take it back. I want it hurt. I want her to really look at this. She said, " I dont care what other people think." My reply to that, " You dont care what I think? Im your best friend." To this she had no reply. I am still upset; Its been about 30 minutes since and I am still shaking. I told her between us its over until she figures herself out. Drastic times, call for drastic measures.

OK. Other than that instance today was good-ish. I was mad i missed out on iHop's free pancake day but I had a test so I couldn't skip :( So now I am sitting at my house, listening to Dead and Gone by T.I. and working on the swim yearbook. It is quite the project but I enjoy it. Its a good reminder of the season (well what times we had and photographed), and its fun to see what everyone writes. I love my team. Sen10rs 2010!! Hell yea

003.

Addiction-Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance

This post is not about me. I have no addiction..well this kind anyway :P

But this is not funny a funny not its quite serious.

Apparently the people i surround myself with are all idiots, with the exception of (a.m] and (p.m] and some other poeple but no one reads but the important people. the ones mentioned. =]

I am not in the mood. I am about to rip a few certain peoples heads off right now. Damn cancer sticks. Messin everything and one up. I was informed this past weekend that some of my very close friends have picked this stick up and began to breath in its "lovely" aroma. When i was told, I became this HULK so to say. I am so very anti-smoker. I told them to not smoke around me and they have not done so far. However I knew that as soon as I left theyd light it up. I know the effects, the dangers. My grandfather died from them. He was my role model, he was there for me when i was little, I didn't get to say good-bye. He started smoking when he was our age. From the time i knew him to the time he pasted he had a cig. I was little then, Im big now. The effects on the man i admired most has made me so passionate about this topic. I want to tell these children (which is what they are) what they are doing is soo wrong. The thing that what they thinks makes them look cool, or feel so high and mighty is horrible. Its death in a fuzzy warm jacket.

-there are app. 4000 different toxic chemicals in cigarettes
- Nicotine reaches the brain within 10 seconds after smoke is inhaled. It has been found in every part of the body and in breast milk.
-Carbon monoxide binds to hemoglobin in red blood cells, preventing affected cells from carrying a full load of oxygen.
-Cancer-causing agents in tobacco smoke damage important genes that control the growth of cells, causing them to grow abnormally or to reproduce too rapidly.
-Smoking affects the function of the immune system and may increase the risk for respiratory and other infections.
-There are several likely ways that cigarette smoke does its damage. One is oxidative stress that mutates DNA, promotes atherosclerosis, and leads to chronic lung injury. Oxidative stress is thought to be the general mechanism behind the aging process, contributing to the development of cancer, cardiovascular disease, and COPD.
-The body produces antioxidants to help repair damaged cells. Smokers have lower levels of antioxidants in their blood than do nonsmokers.
-Smoking is associated with higher levels of chronic inflammation, another damaging process that may result in oxidative stress.

-each year over 430,000 people die as a result of a smoking related disease.

I cant see why with so many risks one could STILL want to take that one puff..What drives you to it? Get away from it, pull away from the addiction. I don't want to LOSE y'all too... But I am going to stick to my fight. Going to give you the run down on how i feel about it and let you take it. I am going to walk away, keep my head high about what i said and meant, and not talk to you. You were given fair warning and if you fall back then its over.

Thats my speall for today. Enjoy your edumacation about smoking and its effects.

The opposite sex.

Boys.
So I actually have a topic today, i would say tonight but it is morning.
Anyway... So why is it that whenever a guy comes over and his friend has to come and there is another girl there that they feel its okay for them to "hook-up". Well i dont like being in that situation. I was put in it tonight, while i was at my wifes house. her boyfriend comes over and his friend comes well the couple is together and then me and the other kid are sitting there like greaatt... The boys want to get in the hottub and me and wifey are like uh...fine. so we get in and typical guys.. Couple is together and that is to be expected, then the other kid is like "I need to get a girlfriend fast."" life is great single." "are you single"-directed at me and im like "no.i have a boyfriend thanks.He's black." Not that skin color matters or anything, but then this other guy is like "O. So is he your first? You like black guys?" I reply well apperently I like black guys and no he's not my first." But it was the matter of the fact that he asked and that he thought he would get wit me, when I HAD NO INTENTION!! This topic will of course be added to but I have to sleep. =]

002. cont.

So I'm at home.
Where i don't want to be.
I called my dad to see if I could go dress looking with skinny.He said no.
all because i apperently knew the seminar was that one thursday and my mom made a doctors appointment for me and i went. That seminar is now weighing pretty heavy on my already low grade in this AP class and its just making life lovely. I hate those things. I might was well not go because I am much more the writer than the speaker; even if my thoughts are scattered here. So i was asked if i had anything to do this weekend by my mom yesterday and i said no nothing...yet. I have no idea what is going to happen now. she hasnt seen my alg2 grade either. :/
I dont want to be at home
I dont want to do nothing
But i don't want to "study" or have anything to do with school.
I want there to be a break time right now. hmph. so there.
Itd be nice if junioritis would go away maybe id have the choice to do something.

with this whole parent thing; so like my wifey and skinny bitch are just like yell at them they wont know what to do and just give you what you want...but they know my rents are different if i ever yelled back at them i dont think id be alive to tell the tale. i mean i have respect for them, but jeez isnt it my choice to fuck up my life. this is the period in which you have to find yourself and find whats important to you and what you prioritize.

~Let me have the room to breath~

002.

So i sitting here in guided study wit my skinny bitch and my boyfriend. And its really quite lame i mean i should be doing something productive like studying my AP since im failing :( but no i have toni do my french homework instead and i sit her and do what ever i please. I have now found that lit beast has officially KILLED!! A Raison in the Sun. I mean if i read the book the whole way through like my (a.m) then i would enjoy it. OK so how the hell does she the lit beast go off and tell (a.m.) that she cant use dialect and different tone and then have Exuberant Gay Boy just go all out today reading his part! like wat the hell! I was like wooooww..It doesnt really matter now though or even then because i wasnt even paying attention ((writing notes to toni and (p.m.) )) Yeah im deff. on a spaztic writing i dont do the whole scripted mess.
(pm) So i cant wait for this coming tuesday! Woo! Free pancakes!! hell yeas i think as long as my mom is in good mood ima ask her if i can actually go. if not im going anyway! :PP Im kinda excited for those pancakes now. I member the last time we went, hahah. almost getting caught by my mom, the iHop lady talkin to us and Manwhore.just thats all. hahaha. So i know this is crazy and messy but ima just leave it. maybe ill fix it later. prolly not. silly boyfriend is talkin about going to Mardi Gras and skinny bitch is sayin shed flash people and thatd id be there with her doing it too. o well shes prolly right. Hahah I love everybody do all my homework. :D


~Home is where the heart is, mine just happens to be in water~

001.

So apparently I have been drugged into this "Blog world" with my most favorite black girls in the world. (am) and (pm). You have no idea who they are but they are indeed my morning and night. :) They teach me the meanings. They keep this crazy white girl in check..or I should said at least try too until I pull them under with me ;)

(am) Like really where not to start with you?
(pm) Really this cant end..

More to follow but right now, homework to tend to and life to endure....